October marked the mandatory implementation of the WHO's ICD-10 codes, just in time to provide healthcare workers with all the codes they could possibly need for documenting holiday-related injury or illness.
Here are fourteen of the funniest ICD-10 codes to help you prepare for a winter of overeating, risky decorating behavior, and general holiday mayhem!
W14 – Fall from tree
Given how many ICD-10 codes are oddly specific to the point of being intrusive, I'm surprised this one doesn't define whether the fall from a tree occurred outdoors (the result of children at play) or inside (an indicator that you should find a new volunteer to decorate next year's Christmas tree).
Y93.23 – Activity, snow, sledding
Does this code also apply to the innocent victims of a sled-meets-pedestrian collision?
W00 – Fall due to ice and snow
By the time you get those new slip-proof boots you asked for for Christmas, winter will be halfway over!
W61.4 – Contact with turkey
Did you know that domesticated turkeys can't mate naturally since they've been bred to have such large breasts for white meat?This code is probably the result of aggressive turkeys just trying to release all that pent-up sexual frustration.
V06.00XA – Collision with nonmotor vehicle
To be fair, this could include bicycles, skateboards, and scooters. But all I can think about is that poor grandma who got run over by a reindeer and had the whole embarrassing experience immortalized in song.
V80.1 – Injury as occupant of animal-drawn vehicle
Santa Claus better stay on his toes. Ever since Rudolph stole the spotlight, reindeer are always super testy this time of year.
X08.8 – Burn by candle
Last night I almost lit myself on fire while trying to light my new menorah. This is not a drill.
R63.2 - Excessive appetite
Which came first, the Christmas cookies or the excessive appetite? I wonder if Santa has ever ended up in the hospital after eating a few too many candy cane cookies...
Z62.891 – Sibling rivalry
This is real and this is serious. One year my sister threw her new digital camera at my head after she found out that our parents gave me the same one. I am a sibling rivalry survivor.
Y93.D – Arts and crafts injury
Its all fun and games until someone gets the bright idea to hot glue a Santa beard onto their face.
T75.4 – Electric shock
I'm just saying, this never would have happened in a gingerbread house.
F43.8 – Emotional stress
Just ask any couple who's had to figure out who's family they'll be spending the holidays with this year. Also related, ICD code Z63.1: problems in relationship with in-laws.
Y92.59 – Injury at shopping mall
Black Friday may be over, but I imagine that a high rate of shopping-related injuries will remain stable until the new year.
T50.3X2D - Intentional self poisoning, tryptophan
Well, thats one way to end a painfully long and cringeworthy Christmas dinner with relatives.